Specialist support during investigations for indecent images and other sexual offences.

 

R from East of England. "The Safer Lives course was referenced by the judge and she said I deserved considerable credit for the work I’d done since my arrest."

(Outcome - Suspended Sentence)

 

M from Home Counties. "I want to thank you both for your time, support, guidance and the courses that we completed. If ever there was an organisation that helped me through a tough time it was Safer Lives and I wouldn't have been able to get through it without you. So huge thanks!"

(Outcome - Community Order)

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G from Midlands.  "I would like to thank Safer Lives and in particular Jayne, her relaxed non-judgemental approach, listening to me and getting me to face my issues and giving me tools, confidence and hope moving forward. The systematic approach helped me to see where I went wrong and why, and left me with the tools to move forward. Thank you Jayne for everything."

(Outcome pending)

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R from Midlands. "Graham's relaxed, person-centred approach gave me the confidence to believe in myself again, from being at rock bottom. Throughout the whole process, he was the person whose advice and words I valued the most. The Safer Lives course is truly transformational - it taught me a lot about myself, the offending and, most importantly, how I could recover and plan out a healthier, non-offending life."

(Outcome - Community Order)

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D from North West. "The safer lives programme taught me so much about myself, my life and my relationships. Andy and the team have shown me that the outlook I have on life has a huge contribution to so many other people and it has given me a completely new sense of control and boundaries as a person. I am so grateful to Safer Lives for helping to save me and my family."

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P from London. "My experience with the programme has been nothing but positive. The 5 day programme takes a look into personal circumstances about how you have gotten into a horrible situation and is tailored to your needs. Throughout the programme you get to know about the laws and the system and how it all works and what the next steps are. Thanks to Jayne for being helpful and understanding. In my experience the staff have been non-judgmental and very helpful. Would suggest to give it a try."

(Client still under investigation)

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V from north of London.  "After a knock on the door one Saturday morning, my life changed forever. Arrested for inappropriate sexual conversations online; I was in shock, as was my husband. Our lives changed forever, and I began a journey of guilt, shame and distress at my actions. Making a call to Safer Lives was the best decision I have ever made and undoubtedly steered me away from isolation and the darker places this kind of event can take us. Steve was so kind, patient and supportive, our weekly meetings led me to an understanding of the pathway to offending and how to understand it and build a pathway out of offending behaviour. There is a future – Steve’s mantra! But so true and Safer Lives helped me to see it. I can never thank you enough."

(Client still under investigation)

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M from South East. "Steve. Thank you so much for sending all the material over.  Over the sessions I have had with you thus far, I have learnt so much about the root cause, about the different triggers, about preventative techniques and so much more. Picking up the phone and calling you was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life - I really appreciate and am extremely thankful for your time."

(Client still under investigation)

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D from West Yorkshire. "I walked home from the Police station not knowing what would face me. The Police Officer had pointed at the Safer Lives leaflet in the pack I was given – he looked me in the face and simply said “call these guys”. It was the best advice I have taken. I spoke to Jenny the same day, and within two days I was sat in front of her with a cup of tea in my hand. I was still scared, but in that room I felt safe. I learned that prison was only one option for me, and seemingly the least likely in my case and that I had some influence on that decision. It made all the difference. I have now completed the Programme, and am calling in for occasional further sessions to keep me sured-up through the rest of the investigation. The sessions have been life changing, and when It’s all done I will miss Jenny’s wisdom, reassurance and compassion. If I struggle with my future, I know who to call." 

(Outcome – Community Order)

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G from West Yorkshire. "I just wanted to say a big thank you to Jayne who created a fantastic knowledgeable safe space where I could discuss my past mistakes, and how I can continue to move forward. Having someone with Jayne's level of knowledge has been invaluable and it has been a massive help to have the time and the structure to have an in depth conversation about these topics, which are a little more difficult to have with family. The course far exceeded my expectations."

(Safer Lives Programme was facilitated as part of a Conditional Caution)

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S from East Midlands. "Engaging with Safer Lives was the best option for me. I soon started to explore certain elements of my life growing up which may explain why I had ended up in the situation I had. This along with the emotional support provided by Safer Lives gave me both determination and the targeted emotional support to change my thought processes. Despite my short period in prison, I now feel incredibly positive about my future and can now deal with life's difficulties in a very different but positive way. Working with Safer Lives has been the best thing I could have possibly done for my rehabilitation and understanding. I am very grateful to Andy and the team."

(Outcome - 12 months imprisonment)

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"On my course, not only have I learned so much of what to expect from my case, but I have found a new understanding of myself. The in-person sessions were so helpful for me, Jenny was easy to speak with and was very knowledgeable about all aspects. The course has helped me to manage my stress and anxiety better as well as prepare for the road ahead. Thank you Jenny for your support for not just myself but my partner and being there for us when ever we needed you. Thanks!"

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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D from the North West. "Safer Lives have been with me throughout this terrible ordeal of my own making. Without them it would have been horrendous, and I would be lucky if I were still alive such were my intentions to go no further. The compassion showed helped me understand that my life still had value, and since those first days I have looked forward to our sessions because I know I will leave every meeting a better person. Thank you too for supporting my wife when every other agency seemed determined to paint her with the same brush as me. We do believe our family is stronger and safer together, and we are determined to work to that outcome." 

(Outcome – Suspended Sentence)

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The program has made me realise the seriousness of my behaviour and offence. I was initially narrow minded believing my behaviour to be only voyeuristic. It was this permission that I gave myself which was where my morals were compromised. I now realise i played a part in this larger machine which fuels a horrific industry of suffering. The mental scars and loss of privacy of the victims is something I feel I hadn't considered. While being behind a glass screen and having an extreme addiction to pornography I felt distant and removed.

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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R from South East. "Thank you Jayne for the expertise, perspective, insight and empathy you've shown since my consultation, and throughout this process, it is very deeply appreciated. You've been invaluable in helping me connect with, and begin to resolve the issues I've experienced and brought about. I know there will be lots of challenges ahead but I already feel a world away from the torment of the last year and I'm confident that as a result of your support through the course that I'll remain motivated to recover and be equipped to deal with whatever the future holds. Heartfelt thanks and gratitude."

(Outcome pending)

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D from the South West. " When I called Safer Lives  I was doubtful but hopeful. I already had my court date and I was going to plead guilty, but I was still struggling to explain to my wife and parents why I had downloaded images of children. We did a telephone consultation and then travelled up to Leeds with my wife within two weeks. I left feeling 100% better and with a much better understanding of myself. I wasn’t told anything much, apart from what lay ahead of me, but my understanding was opened up to the things that have influenced my behaviour and why I took the choices I did. My wife spent an hour with Jenny talking through her own fears and worries about press reporting and us having children in the future. This was a tremendous support to her as she had felt alone until that point. I only wish we started this ten months ago." 

(Outcome – Community Order) 

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"I wish I never had to access this programme but I did. It helps to access early and you will have a clear idea of what's happening and what's going to happen before looking at why it happened and how you are going to stop it happening again. I feel this should be a nationally funded programme and mandatory. Andy's experience and manner are to his credit as he is easy to talk to about anything and I mean anything. That safety and clarity will allow you to see the future."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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Andy's knowledge was invaluable in helping my understanding of my situation and what I could except going forward in terms of the criminal justice system. More importantly he helped me articulate my own thoughts around my behaviour with pornography and I now have a different outlook. Although this ordeal remains devastating, thanks to Safer Lives I now feel that I can come out the other side of it with an opportunity to get my life back together in the future. 

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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"Thank you Jenny and Safer Lives for giving me hope at a point where quite frankly death seemed preferable. It helped so much in being able to talk with another human being over the awful things I had been doing which over time I had normalised in my mind. In addition to this, with the skills and professional knowledge Jenny brought to these sessions, I started to understand more about myself, what had contributed to my behaviour and ultimately what I need to do to keep myself on the right path. I have no hesitation in recommending Safer Lives. They are a game changer."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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L from South Yorkshire. "I also just wanted to thank you very much for last year and the sessions, it was worth every penny and i would highly reccomend it to anyone, the biggest help was talking about my problems in the past that led to where my mind set had got too, that helped me a lot to get it out of my system and talk about it, i am in a good place in life now after Monday i can go forwards, now covid is sort of calming down so i can restart my life, i just wanted to thank you so much, i feel that carried a hell of a lot of weight when i mentioned i had gone to you off my own back, she said that was a big factor that i was not told to go there i just went, so your program does carry a LOT of weight with it. sorry to go on a lot but i am just so happy and relieved !"
(Outcome - Conditional Caution)

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"Andy was a great person to talk to. He is highly experienced in his field and was non judgemental but also clear in indentifying what behaviours I may have over stepped boundaries on. Through the course I've been able to set up measures and support to ensure I do not repeat my behaviour and also understand the consequences I may face. I wish to thank Andy for his support and making me feel I can look toward a future once the investigation is complete."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation). Client later was No Further Actioned.

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G from the South East. "Thanks for taking the time to talk to me and to listen. I found the sessions difficult but have gained more insight than I have from therapy so far, having spent a lot more on the latter."

(Outcome – Suspended Sentence)

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"Thank you for the compassion and the understanding you had towards me. I believe the society needs to understand more about porn addiction, the results of that and what causes it. People need more support than they have. Often they feel judged and misunderstood and you definitely helped me control those feelings. More long term services like yours are needed." 

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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G from West Yorkshire. "Before I met Safer Lives my suicide was unnegotiable." 

(Outcome – Community Order) 

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"I feel the programme, and Andy in particular, are great. No topic was out of bounds and the flexibility of the sessions allowed for things to emerge organically whilst still following the prescribed structure of the programme. I learnt more about myself in these sessions than I have in formal therapy."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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R from South Yorkshire. It may seem like a strange thing to say given I now sit here with a criminal record, but actually I have a sense of optimism about the future that I haven’t had for a long, long time – and that includes long before my arrest. I’m a far better version of myself today than I was the first day I walked in an sat down with Jenny and Andy for our first session together. 

(Outcome – Suspended Sentence) 

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"When I thought life as I hade previously known it had come crashing down on me the sessions with Safer Lives gave me the feeling that there was hope. There was a way forward."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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N from West Yorkshire. "Safer Lives helped me from the start and I felt a bond to their compassion at the most difficult time in my young life. Andy prepared me for what it would be like in prison. He had worked on the wing I went on to, and I even met someone who remembered him with affection and spoke about his integrity. And that's the word I would use to describe Safer Lives.  Andy wrote to me inside and when I came out I continued seeing them for a while because I was struggling with re-establishing myself and Probation were well meaning but ultimately unhelpful with the emotional side of things. I have a job again, and I continue working on being a better person."  

(Outcome - 8 months imprisonment)  

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"Safer Lives have provided calm and measured advice at a time where I struggled to find clarity of information from other sources. It has been a very useful programme in helping me start to understand myself and the next steps."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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P from Greater Manchester. "I would also like to say thank you again for our sessions, they have given me a greater strength and resolve not to succumb to my addiction and I feel that I am on a much better path now than before I first sat down with you, you have been a great help in my recovery and It is so very much appreciated."

(Outcome - Community Order) 

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"Jenny has a very warm and welcoming persona which instantly puts you at ease. She shows compassion and understanding which make it easy to open up to her. Safer Lives have been a lifeline in a difficult time both in helping deal with the moment but also in starting to move forwards. Thank you!"

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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T from North East. "Once again I can not thank you enough for all of the help you have given us. I was in a very dark place when I first contacted Safer Lives and you managed to give me the hope and courage to see this through."

(Outcome: Suspended Sentence)

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B from London. "It has been a year since I completed the Safer Lives course, and I can honestly say it was the single best decision I made following my arrest. Attending the course demonstrated to my family, the court and those around me, that I was taking my issues seriously and seeking help. Although I feared taking the step to book the course, Andy’s approach was perfect. He instantly put me at ease which was so important and this, allowed to be open and explain my situation and then for him to offer me tailored help to my exact needs. I would not hesitate for a moment to recommend Safer Lives, and if you are unsure of whether you should attend or not, book a chat with Andy, it may be the best decision you make."

(Outcome: Community Order)

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"I found the sessions very helpful in focusing my mind on what I have done and need to do to address my behaviour in the future. They gave me insight into my life and provided me with strategies to ensure that I manage my stress in the future. Professional, understanding, non-judgemental and caring. Do not hesitate to reach out to Safer Lives, once you do you put yourself on a journey to recovery and rehabilitation."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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S from London. "Just wanted to let you know that I just got back from court. I was given 18 months suspended sentence. All ok. We can now rebuild our lives and put this behind us. I just wanted to say thank you for everything."

(Outcome - Suspended Sentence)

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"Safer Lives do make a difference to you in difficult circumstances,they listen, understand,are not judgemental and help you understand your issues,they are there to help you. The Programme they offer is excellent."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

 

C from West Yorkshire. "When I found myself under investigation for offences relating to indecent images, my world fell apart. I found myself cut adrift from friends and family and was terrified of what was to come in terms of the legal process. Over the course of just a few sessions, Jenny at Safer Lives gave me not just a sense of perspective about how I'd come to be in that position, but equipped me with the tools I needed to face the future and start to respect myself and those I love. Fortunately, the investigation was dropped without charge, but the work I did with Safer Lives was literally invaluable in helping me to get through those terrifying months."

(Outcome - No Further Action)

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"I strongly recommend engaging with Safer Lives if you require a compassionate and professional service to help understand, explain and address your harmful online behaviours."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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"Safer Lives really helped by being non judgemental and really gave a good framework to help me understand my behaviour. The support at the start of my investigation has been very useful."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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C from Humberside. "I was made to feel at ease to talk, and with Andy’s skill to make me lead the discussion and it’s direction rather than tell me what to do I felt more in control. Any aspects of the future which may be difficult, challenging or unpleasant were handled with compassion, but with the understanding that the success would be in my hands. Thanks for listening, encouraging, helping and guiding. I feel I am now a different person better placed to face the future with no regression to old behaviour. Understanding without judgement!"

(Outcome - pending)

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"I found the programme really well structured taking me through all the steps needed to reflect on myself and the crime. Andy was kind and very knowledgeable, and really helped put things into perspective for me."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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"Open and honest, yet hard hitting in terms of the actual cross over from 'only' being online to the real world and it's associated consequences. From my personal experience prevention,learning and awareness would of been key in potentially preventing poor extremely misinformed decisions and behaviours that have potentially to cause harm to others including minors."

(Service evaluation feedback - client awaiting outcome of investigation)

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Anonymous from Midlands. "For most of my adult life I have lived in fear of the day when I will be arrested. That fear is still there and is a hard thing to shift – the fear that my world will fall apart and I will have questions to answer. Working with Safer Lives has meant that I have stopped the behaviour and I feel a new confidence that it is behind me. I have been given pragmatic advice and a new understanding of my behaviours. This will be a lifelong journey for me but I am so relieved to have found help, and that I took that step to send the first email. Just being able to talk about this burden in a safe place has been life-changing and I now feel safe in myself. I have stopped self-harming, and my levels of self-loathing are so diminished. My future now seems so different, and the fear of the police coming is slowly diminishing as the time between now and my last viewing of images grows. While I can think so rationally, I don’t feel there is a real chance that I will return to it, and I can resist any temptations. 

I’d like to thanks Safer Lives for being there for me. I urge anyone battling their sexual thoughts and attractions to read the online newspaper article about Safer Lives. It gave me confidence to reach for their help." 

(No police involvement - came to Safer Lives for prevention work)

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